It’s normal to feel emotions like betrayal. There’s someone lately who I feel has betrayed me, who has let me down and treated me badly and I feel like I need justification and an explanation of his actions for my own peace of mind. But you know what I realised? He isn’t thinking about me, he’s not feeling guilty about what he’s done, hell, he probably doesn’t even realised he’s upset me. I’m making myself upset by thinking about it so much, by longing for answers that I’ll never get.
We’re all so self destructive, caring too much about things and people who aren’t doing the same. Wasting energy is all it is. I’m going to try and forget people who have forgotten me when they were too busy being reckless.
People always have the tools to destroy others and often they will but if we’re a little less self-pitying and self-loathing we can maybe destroy the self destructive part of ourselves.
As pathetic as it sounds none of us want to end up alone and that’s why we date, why we try, why we keep looking… we’re just trying to find someone who we can love and who (most importantly) loves us back.
But love is an ideal, that’s the problem isn’t it? I’ve never seen a relationship work out, never envied people in relationships because they’re never perfect and because someone always ends up getting hurt.
I dont want to end up getting hurt.
I dont want to end up alone.
It’s stupid really, that it’s so hard to find something that everyone is looking for. It may not even exist. Or maybe it does exist but not everyone’s meant to find it.
I dont want to end up with a broken heart- I’m fragile enough as it is… yet- I cant help but keep looking and I dont even notice I’m doing it.