I have enough friends…

let’s just be friends”…exactly the words I didn’t expect to be saying yesterday.

So I’ve known this guy a few months now and things seemed to be going great, we text every day and have great fun when we’re together- there’s even been a cheeky kiss each time we’ve met up. So yesterday I was looking forward to seeing him again. The day started of great, we were normal and playful and it was lovely but by a sharp turn of events he explained he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I kept my cool, was calm and collected and then came the string of clichés and sickening phrases:

“It’s not you, it’s me”

“I just need to be single right now”

“If I’d met you 6 months ago things would be different”

“Any guy would be lucky to have you”

and then… “I’m still in love with my ex”

Well what the hell am I meant to say to that? Needless to say I felt incredibly insecure and stupid and pathetic. It was awful, I was asking questions to understand what I’d done wrong whilst trying to hold back tears as much as possible. I’d never felt more like a teenage girl in my life.

Of course my heart wasn’t broken and it wasn’t the end of the world. He was lovely in his attempts to console me as I sat on a very cold park bench trying to look a bit less of a mess.I just couldn’t help feeling as though there was something fundamentally wrong with me. It was another “not this again” moment. I know I’m young and still have a while before I’m crowned spinster but it really does suck when you think things might go somewhere and then you get rejected quite suddenly.

I was more upset over the face another guy didn’t want me than because I couldn’t be this guy’s girlfriend- Just another guy to add to the list.

The annoying thing is we do get along really well, so whilst my emotions where going crazy I managed to stay reasonable. I didn’t (luckily) say anything I regretted and we both agreed we do like each others company and will stay friends (let’s see how that works out).

So there you have it.

Another friend to add to my list. Guess what though? still no boyfriend.

Tes.

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Playing games

There are certain unwritten rules and rituals that every teenager and young adult knows. Unwillingly we all obey these rules meaning we’re all playing games. What I am talking about of course is relationships.

Who makes the first move? Is it okay to text the day after you meet or is that too eager? How soon in to the relationship can you say ‘ I love you’ ? There are so many questions but  in reality there is not just one answer. Every relationship works differently. None of my friends approach relationships in the same manner because we’re all different therefore it only makes sense to have different approaches towards our love life.

What I hate though is the feeling that you have to do certain things when you first meet someone new. Courtship in this day and age is far from romantic- it’s stressful. Both parties realise they’re trying to leave a good impression but in reality are just lying to each other and themselves. Isn’t it best to just be yourself? Do what you feel is right instead of what you’ve been told you should do?

I’m far from a relationship guru but I’ve seen this game played in a million different ways and I myself have done this too. At the end of the day, It’s best to be yourself, they’ll discover the real you soon enough- better sooner than later right?

Playing games is something both sexes are familiar with and guilty of. As someone who hates the concept of relationships regardless- I think that relationships should remain a game-free zone. It’s easy- two people like each other, one asks the other on a date and then they take it from there. Let’s not overcomplicate things guys 😉

Tes.