Lips as red as blood

Every time, every single time Im getting ready to go out I wounder whether I can pull of the red lipstick look. It’s become increasingly popular and when flicking through magazines I cant help but admire how glamorous girls appear with their luscious locks, impecable make up and striking red lips. I, despite my Colombian and Italian background, am very pale and teamed with my black curly hair I cant help but feeling like a reincarnation of Snow white when I apply a red lipstick but the few times I gather enough courage to embrace my “skin as white as snow” and “hair as dark as coal” I have noticed that red lipstick looks incredible… for all of ten minutes.

With all brave or striking make up you are forced to check up or re-apply various time throughout the night just to check that it’s still alright- looking and for me this is the biggest downside to red lipstick. I am in no way a makeup expert because truth me told I am too lazy to spend time in the morning making myself look pretty and am quite content with my dishevelled “natural beauty” so having to check up on make-up always seems to slip my mind and only the morning after (when I recieve 50 notifications on Facebook of tagged photos) do I see how desperatley I should have bothered to make a quick trip to the bathroom and fix my makeup, if only to prevent it looking like I’d snogged a clown

Possibly Joker-like smiles are not the only problem with red lipstick. Again this is probably only annoying to inexperienced make up users like me but I ALWAYS end up with make up on my teeth and for somone with a smile to rival Wallace and Gromit it is particularly difficult to hide the fact I am a failure as a girl and cannot apply lipstick (generally getting about 60% on my teeth and the remainder sloppily caked onto my lips).

What seems to be a tradition with my fellow red-lipsticked girls is kissing absolutley everyone you can on the cheek. This bizarre form of branding seems to only occur when women apply the red lipstick. Girls with pink, orange, purple- I have never seen them collecting people and tagging them with their lip imprints but apply a bit of red lipstick and BAM girls start to prey on the innocent cheeks of unsuspecting party-goers.

Following the point of lip imprints, It’s so inconvenient to have to drink out of glasses when wearing such a bright lipstick- you leave a rather grim lip stamp on all the cups that you drink out of which not only makes it very hard to slyly take a gulp of your friends drink when they’ve gone to the bathroom but it also is terrifying evidence when you see the 15 empty glasses with your lip mark on them and realise you’ve probably drunk a bit too much (once again).

For all those ladies who are confident enough to wear red lipstick, I sincerly applaud you. I think I am still lacking the overall glamour and grace needed to pull off this look. One day I hope to leave my house looking like an ethereal, almost-sexy Snow White but until then guess I need to face that a red-lipped me may not quite be up to the standards of “fairest of them all”.

Tes.

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